Overwhelm on the Altar
For most of us, parenting this past year has been the most demanding experience of our lives.
We have walked through so much unknown, unrest, fear, and confusion. We have had to change direction multiple times, start and stop school, worry about health, relationships, face isolation, grieve over the things we have lost, scramble to hold onto the ways things once were. All the while, wondering what may be coming next. We watch our children wrestle with these heavy places as well, and we may wonder how we shepherd another when we feel like we have lost our way? How do we speak life into our children when we feel lifeless and robotic in our moments? How do we endure and teach our children to pursue God when we desire to quit?
If we were together, wrestling out these questions, I would simply say, "We build an altar."
Now it's not an obvious answer, and it's not even intuitive, but walk with me for a moment.
The Israelites’ Altar
In Joshua 4, the Israelites were camped by the Jordan River looking into the Promised Land. Moses had died, and Joshua was now their leader as they planned their assault on Jericho. The Jordan River lay between them and their new land. Scripture tells us the water was overflowing the banks because of the season of the year, making it virtually impossible for the people of Israel to forge without some help. God instructs Joshua to have the priests step into the Jordan with the ark of the covenant, promising that the water will stand up in a heap so that the people can cross on dry ground. His final directive was to gather 12 stones to stand on the opposite shore as a sign so that when their children asked them about them, they would tell about the way God cut off the water before the ark of the covenant.
Joshua 4:21-24 "And he said to the people of Israel, "When your children ask their fathers in times to come, 'What do these stones mean?' then you shall let your children know, 'Israel passed over this Jordan on dry ground.' For the LORD your God dried up the waters of the Jordan for you until you passed over, as the LORD your God did to the Red Sea, which he dried up for us until we passed over, so that all the peoples of the earth may know that the hand of the LORD is mighty, that you may fear the LORD your God forever."
The Israelites were desperate to settle, longing for calm, envisioning peace and rest after spending their entire lives wandering through the wilderness. Remember, their parents had already stood on these banks and looked into Jericho. But their doubt and fear cost their entrance, so this new generation had grown into adulthood hearing about the promised land while wandering, eating manna, and waiting for the last of their doubting parents to die.
My Personal Altar
In 2016, we faced a year more difficult than anything I had ever encountered before or since. We had recently moved to a new state, and my husband's new job was difficult and stressful, laden with empty promises and time demands. In the span of two months, our oldest child suffered a brain injury. Another child was diagnosed with a life-threatening blood disorder requiring weekly infusions, and we had two other children suffer orthopedic injuries. We also had a newborn and a toddler! My back went out because of the stress, the tension was too high, and peace was nonexistent. I remember standing one evening looking in my freezer, trying to figure out what to thaw for dinner, and my heart was utterly overwhelmed. I was physically exhausted, emotionally spent, fearful for the future for my two very sick children, unclear if I had time for any more doctor appointments, any more bandwidth for just making dinners and washing clothes.
And God began to help me gather stones. Not all at once, just slowly over the next few days, He began to point out the stones to pick up and place as a testament to His hand even in the middle of this rushing river. Miracles of doctors engaged, specialists available for the unusual diagnoses. Friends had delivered countless meals long after the first few weeks of the new baby's life, while others had driven my children and me to the hospital for infusions when I could not move. Little miracles of healing, flooding peace in the dark when I thought my heart might break, victories at Troy's work when it seemed the most discouraging. The stones began to pile up. And every stone linked to a passage of Scripture, a place of truth where His promises became a reality.
Passages became lifelines. Some reminded me of His listening ear: Psalm 40:1-2 "I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure." Some reminded me of His plan: "And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen." 1 Peter 5:10-11
When my children wondered why all the things were happening as they were, these stones of truth became the foundation of the story I began to tell, the anchor for the ways God was providing, because of who He is and His intervening love. In Exodus 20:24, God told Moses in every place where He causes His name to be remembered, "He will come to you and bless you." So we began to remember His name. We began to explore God's character and attributes and how His promises were evident in our lives despite all the hard.
In the flood of difficulty this year, the places of feeling insignificant and unable to impact change or predict the next moment, you and I may have forgotten the truth of God's deep, abiding love for us.
John 13:1 says, "He loves us to the end."
He will not stop, pull back, remove or forsake. Consistently the Israelites had seen His love, experiencing his rescue in significant, tangible ways. His physical presence was always with them, the cloud in the day and the fire at night. They had known food every morning, water in miraculous ways, defense against mighty armies, and supernatural healings. Yet they forgot. Overwhelm in new experiences sucked away the certainty of God's presence. Fear and doubt captured their thoughts. Worry and discouragement easily became their story.
Remembering Jesus and His Sacrifice
God knew this about the Israelites, and He knows this about us. He knows that you and I are teetering in our hearts. Yearning for yesterday, for the simpler, the familiar, the old that was a year ago. We doubt where we are and wonder what is going on. We complain about all we have lost or all we fear we may lose. And we speak this into our children. As they look to us for guidance and pace-setting, we speak dismay, discouragement. Fear and fatigue define our days.
The beauty of the Gospel is we are no longer in need of an altar to ensure our relationship with God.
Christ's death on the cross and resurrection satisfied the need for sacrifice once and for all. We have become like Christ, a living stone, as 1 Peter 2:4-5 declares, built to bring God glory. We are now the very place where He proclaims His great love. We offer our lives as testaments of praise, service, and hope. But on the hard days, we need physical reminders of this spiritual transformation.
I can easily forget what God has just done as the worries or fears of today well up and surround me. Our kids feel this same pressure, yet they lack the spiritual history to recall God's hand. We must remember because our children require rooting. Just like the Israelites, our children need to see the altar of remembrance solidify their path as they follow God even into scary battles.
So let’s start picking up stones. Let's stop our grimacing and start gathering. The gift of remembering will combat our natural spiritual amnesia. We have the beautiful privilege of making memorials for our children to help the beginning of their testimony.
How do we create an altar of remembrance?
Time: time to reflect on what He has been doing - lead your children in a time of remembering all the ways God has been providing, the big and small ways He shows Himself to be involved in their lives.
Write it down - whether it's a growing list on your refrigerator or a mighty moment your family experienced, record it. Declare God as the sovereign hand in that moment; recognize His care.
Look for the Truth - Link the experience back to Scripture - a verse that speaks to the nature of God displayed or His promises.
Praise and worship - We want our children to know - to know His hand is at work, to know God loves them in tangible ways, that He "will come to you and bless you." (Exodus 20:24)
Set the stone - Creating a symbolic altar can be as simple as allowing each child to draw their moment on paper, coloring as the conversation flows around God's love and care for them. Collecting rocks on a walk, painting them, and placing them in a visible place for the coming months to remember His faithfulness could also be a fun family activity. Create a space to point to when the day feels hard; make a visible place where your children can return and settle their hearts.
Have hope. We have spent the last year moving from one high moment of emotion to another, whizzing through stressful situations, reacting to whatever comes next, hoping to finish what initially seemed like a sprint but now is guaranteed to be a marathon. And our kids have been swept up in the same chaos. But we can provide respite; we can set a new pace. We can choose where we anchor our hearts and where we find true peace.
Only Jesus will be our peace. Only Jesus will provide the assurances we need in a time in which there seems to be no assurances. So let's build some monuments to His name in our home. Let's lift His name high.
As a wife, mother, writer, and teacher, Bethany helps overwhelmed mothers of young children frame their motherhood in the truth of the Gospel for their identity in community with other moms. Married to Troy for 24 years, they have been blessed with eight children. God reaches down into the messiness of her motherhood to display His love, mercy, and grace. She can be found at www.bethanykimsey.com or IG at https://www.instagram.com/bethanykimsey/.
